In 2011 – Take the Vibrator Pledge!

December 31, 2010 deniseespie
Tags: Black women, sex, vibrator

In 2011, I think all women need one thing – a vibrator. Yes, I said it.

There’s nothing like a little clit simulation to get the blood pumping and the mind clicking. No, I’m no a sexpert by in the age of any-thing-goes-ality, a vibrator is an essential tool. It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a committed relationship, married or moving between the complexities of dating.

Okay…it does matter… LOL! If you are single and not dating, it doesn’t take the place of a real-life penis (no need to lie) but it sure helps in the meantime…okay!!

If you are single and dating, the one thing in Steve Harvey’s mess of dating books I agree with is the 90-day rule. Ladies, please get to know someone before you give away your cookies, jewels or whatever before having sex with them.

HIV/AIDS – no joke. Genital herpes – unlike the media reports every Black person doesn’t have it. You can get it even if you use a condom.

I’m about to drop something and I hope you catch it – there truly is not such thing as SAFE SEX…get it. But, you increase your chances of surviving by communicating, listening and watching actions. I hope you got that because a blog is only suppose to be but so long so I don’t have the luxury of explaining this right now.

If you are married or in a committed relationship, he or she ain’t always there! And, besides practice makes perfect…ha, ha…I hope you caught this one too.

The old saying rings true – “you must love yourself first before you can love someone else.” Let’s expand that saying just a little, “you must know how to pleasure yourself before you can pleasure someone and get pleasured by someone.”

Just like my IPod, e-reader, Macbook and mobile phone, my vibrator is an essential piece of equipment. It has a pretty carrying case. I travel with it. It has a special place in my home. It has it’s own special accessories.

Here’s a funny story about my vibrator and me: My mommy and I are on a plane headed to Paris. The flight attendant gets on the loud speaker and says, “If there is a Shaletta Espie on the plane, please hit your attendant light.”

Now, I’m not going to comment in this blog about European airport security but shouldn’t they have known that I was on the plane. I did check-in with a government-issued passport. I did go through Customs. I did get selected to walk through the much-controversial body scanner. Hmmm… So yes I was on the plane, and I did what they told me to do – I hit the button.

It was at this precise moment that my 69-year-old mother turns to me and says, “Oh my goodness, I hope you didn’t forget to take the batteries out of your vibrator.”
#motherswhoembarrassdaughtersabouttheirvibrators – surely I can spark a Twitter following about this…LOL! And, of course she didn’t say it quietly. Funny…yes! Shocking…yes! Embarrassing…a little!

I’m not a sexpert so I’m not going to tell you how to use a vibrator. I’m not going to give you any tips about how you and your partner can enhance your sex life with one. I’ll leave that up to Laura Berman.

These are just Shu’s feelings ya’ll. Just my feelings…

Now, in 2011, ladies…make a promise to yourself to get a vibrator – if you don’t have one and if you do have one – upgrade. Just like Apple…there’s always the next generation coming to the shelf…LOL!

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