Laugh At Yourself: It’s Okay!
April 24, 2009
deniseespie
Tags: Emotional Health, humor, laughter, perfection
Standing in front of a microphone can be intimidating – and humorous.
There it is staring at you, and you are staring back at it, wondering who will get the best of who. You think for a moment, “I have the power over you.” Because, whatever you put in will come out. But at the same time, it’s laughing at you saying, “If that’s what you think.” Because whatever you put in usually doesn’t come out the way you think.
“Go ahead, speak into the mic.”
I follow orders and try to spit a rhyme. I just watched Notorious so I’m inspired. “Mic-ra-phone Checka 1-2-3.” Okay, so it’s not Biggie or even Lil’ Kim but it’s all I could think of and plus DB – the super-duper producer – is laughing at me. I heard my voice fill the room – it’s coming from the north, south, east and west. But, wait! It doesn’t sound like me. My voice sounds different when it’s being amplified across the room. I don’t sound as sexy as I think I do in my head.
“Put the headphones on.”
I look to my right and see a pair of big black headphones sitting on a table. I take a moment and look at them because they conjure up negative feelings. Of course, my face is in a frown, as only Shaletta can make it frown. They are the big ones that I usually see guys wearing on the train. Big and loud. The volume can get ridiculous on these things. And, usually those who wear them test the bounds of their audio performance, and at 7 a.m. in the morning, I don’t want to hear the likes of Lil Wayne of Soulja Boy talking about bitches and hoes or gettin’ money, telling stories about little duffle bag boys.
But, I follow directions, and I put them on.
“Okay, speak into the mic again.”
“I’m MC Shu, I ain’t got no Boo, but I’ma get me one in a few.”
Boy, I’m bad at this.
“You want to lay down a track.”
“Me?” The one who sounds like a wounded animal when she sings. The one whose mother threw away her shower radio because she couldn’t take my singing in the shower. The one whose grandmother loved to sing old hymns, and when I joined in, she would say “Baby, it’s alright, not everyone is meant to sing.”
“Sure, why not.” What the hell do I have to lose? It’s just me and DB, so why not.
“Here’s the beat. Just relax and let it flow. Let’s do a practice run, then we’ll record.”
“Be careful how you pronounce your Bs and Ds because you will start to clip.”
What in the hell is he talking about. “Ok.” Maybe, Beyonce knows or John Legend, but I’ma need him to speak English. But, he doesn’t catch the look on my face. And, my mind is on all those Jimmy Choo shoes, Louis Vuitton handbags, two-week vacations off the coast of France and $2,500-a-night hotel rooms I’ma be buying (and yes, the millions I’m going to give away to charities that save animals, educate children and protect the earth – I do have a heart, and I believe in service. OBAMA – sorry I just like to shout that at random times…LOL!) when P. Diddy gets a hold of this demo. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about again – accelerandos, dolorosos and stanzas. “Okay.” Whatever, let’s do this.
“Alright, come in on the second verse.”
“Okay.”
“Here we go.”
Nothing. Laughter. Giggles. More laughter. More giggles. DB starts to laugh too. I’m speechless. I don’t know what to sing. More laughter. More giggles.
“Take a minute and write something down.” I get nervous. I look around for help or inspiration. But, there’s no Lil’ Cease to go and get me some weed and fellas. (If you saw Notorious, then you know what I’m talking about.) Just me. “I’m all I got in this world and that’s all I need. I fear no one because I am the one.” More rhyme flowing. I’ma send that one to Jay-Z.
“Girl, stop with the rap dreams and write something down!”
So, now I’m a song writer too. Damn, DB starts talking more music lingo about verses and stanzas and lyrics. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! But, I write down a few words about a brotha’s smile.
I love your smile. When I see it, I get all warm inside. Your smile will make an emotionless woman cry. It will make me walk a million miles. I love you smile. Boy, won’t you let it be mine.
Okay, I know – bad. But, Diddy will hire some song writers for me. Let’s do this.
Practice run complete – check. Now, it’s time to record. Oh my goodness, I sound hot. This microphone is making my voice sound – Delicious! I can smell the millions.
“You will hear three clicks and that indicates that you are recording. Relax and have fun with it.”
The beat begins to flow. I love your smile. When I see it, I get all warm inside. This time I’m more confident – swaying, grooving, moving and smiling. I feel every hit of the drum, every pluck of the guitar and every blow into the trumpet. This is H-O-T!
“Cut.”
“Let me hear it. Let me hear it.” My voice feels the room again.
I love your smile. When I see it, I get all warm inside. Your smile will make an emotionless woman cry. It will make me walk a million miles. I love you smile. Boy, won’t you let it be mine.
Silence. More silence. DB is looking at me, and I’m looking at him. He laughs first, then I follow.
It was TERRIBLE. I didn’t sound like a wounded animal, I sounded like a dying one. I sounded far worse than Kim on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Terrible, terrible and terrible. Sorry to inform you – no Diddy, no $2,500-a-night hotel rooms on secluded islands, no Jimmy’s and no Vuitton’s (what??? Okay, I went too far with the Vuitton comment. I can afford at least one a year).
The lesson I want you to take from this story is: Experience something new and different. Have fun with it. And, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
For many, laughter is a healing power – the best antidepressant ever prescribed. It enables us to reframe our anxieties, and it has extraordinary capabilities to help us see the positive when our hearts are aching.
It is a fact that some of the best moments of laughter are based on true stories. How many comedians have you heard tell stories based on real events that make you laugh? Probably, countless. If not, just tune into Steve Harvey, Russ Parr or Ricky Smiley, and you are sure to hear one.
So, if some of the best jokes are based on real occurrences, then why aren’t more of us laughing?
Because some people naturally discover the light-hearted side of things while others seem to settle into a “doom and gloom” mode about practically everything that occurs in their lives. My friend Barbara is on the light-hearted side of the equation. She can laugh about anything and never takes life too seriously. Her spirit is infectious, and when I talk to her – no matter what’s happening in my life (good or bad) – I find myself laughing. That’s why I love to talk to her.
These Barbara-type people can easily find the humor in almost every situation. But, why can’t we all?
Here’s why? Because a lot of us want to be “perfect!” And when we mess up, we don’t want anyone to notice those ridiculous things we do or the silly situations we somehow create for ourselves.
I admit – I fall into this category more than I want to admit. But, more and more I’m giving myself permission to laugh at myself. I’ve discovered that the quest for perfection has profound, negative physical, mental, emotional and spiritual affects on your life (Thanks Nadra for teaching me this). There is loads of medical evidence that shows laughter’s positive affects on the immune system. It has also been recently established that future health outcomes are enhanced by “the glass half full” rationale as opposed to “the glass half empty.”
If you are struggling with being able to laugh at yourself, here are some tips:
- Give yourself permission. It’s okay. Really it is!
- Rediscover your sense of humor by easing off your drive for perfection and seriousness while encouraging a light-hearted approach whenever possible.
- Stimulate your mind to uncover the humor in every situation and give your laughter muscles a daily workout.
- Allow laughter to replace alcohol, tobacco, drugs and medications when you’re stressed and need to cope.
- Encourage your playful side to emerge even during those challenging times.
- Accept laughter and humor as one of God’s gifts and share it with others as often as possible. When you laugh, especially at yourself, everyone else will join in. Laughter is contagious – and healing.
- Don’t take yourself or anyone else too seriously.
Until next time, don’t forget to LIVE LIFE!
Entry Filed under: Emotional Health
8 Comments Add your own
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1.
Alana |
April 24, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Shaletta I am really proud of you for following your dreams and speaking into life’s microphone. This blog is really great. I will definately try to keep up with your writing. We can do anything, if we try.
2.
deniseespie |
April 25, 2009 at 11:20 am
Alana,
Thanks so much for the love. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
S
3.
Dwight |
April 24, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Shaletta, Shaletta, Shaletta, you always seem to amaze me. You are beautiful inside and out, and I am glad that you are sharing that beauty with the world because they deserve to see it, and you deserve to see them smiling back at you.
BTW, I miss seeing that smile and I miss hearing that laugh.
So, continue to share those stories, and I’ll continue to read. That’s one of the things I love about you – hearing your stories.
D
4.
MD |
April 25, 2009 at 6:20 am
So you think you a rapper huh? LOL. With that cute face, that witty charm and your smarts I guess you can be anything. This made me laugh. Thanks for making me smile. So when am I going to get some one-on-one time with your smile. When are you going to let me cook for you lady? You know I want to be your personal chef wink, wink. Maybe what I prepare for you can be an inspiration for your next blog. You know I do everything with love, kind and passion. Just say when and I’ll get in the kitchen just for you.
5.
deniseespie |
April 25, 2009 at 11:21 am
D and M:
Ya’ll fellas got to be careful what you write on a lady’s blog…you never know who is reading…SMILE!
Thanks for the wonderful comments.
M, all you got to do is drop off a plate…stope playing on my blog!
S
6.
Tina |
April 25, 2009 at 6:25 am
Shu, the blog is great and funny. Only you. Girl, you can just write a blog about all the funny things that happen to you. Write one about when we were teenagers and you got a ticket for misuse of a horn in my mother’s car. Girl, that experience still make me laugh. I always thought you were funny. Glad you are finanlly laughing at yourself. Ligthened up LOL! Can’t wait to read more.
7.
deniseespie |
April 25, 2009 at 11:23 am
LOL…I forgot about that…if I was older, I think that police officer would have arrested me…LOL!
Thanks for reading my blog.
You are too funny!
S
8.
Sandea |
April 27, 2009 at 5:07 pm
LOL, you are too funny. Please, please keep the day job. Well I hope that this blog will help you find your passion again. You should always remember and treasure what you love most. Step into your own sunlight and stop being someone else’s shadow. Life is too short to be serious all the time. Live, laugh and love if no one else but yourself. Everything else will follow. Oh and by the way gentleman there is a better way to ask a lady out, keep that in mind. Love Ya, Sis